Have you ever met a couple that never fights or never argues? I have never met a non-fighting couple because it is a myth. Two different people come together and spend a significant amount of time together they are bound to have differences of opinion. If you talk to one of the partners, they will complain about some of the habits of your partner that they do not like. You can find various memes about fighting couples and various memes about reconciling, some of them juicy enough to kick off your imagination. All in all, fighting is also a part of any couple’s life, and arguing in a relationship is healthy, but there are some conditions, which will be discussed in this post.
What do couples fight about?
Couples fight about various things, but there are some main reasons for fighting, such as parenting style, habits, food, chores, and finances. Every person has a way of thinking and form their opinions based on their life experiences. Where kids are concerned, people tend to stop the patterns that they consider were not so good while they were growing up. For example, someone who grew up with strict parents and was often hurt by this parenting style may go for a friendly approach to parenting. If you feel you are facing issues in relationships due to childhood trauma, opting for Online Counseling is a good idea for your mental health and relationship.
How do you argue with your partner?
Couples fight about various things and in various ways, but there needs to be some boundary that should not be crossed. Yes, you read it right, there are some ground rules in a couple’s fight. Even boxers and wrestlers fight within the rules when they are just opponents. A couple in a relationship should argue with the aim of understanding and accepting the differences. Here are some ways to help you have a good outcome of a couple’s fight:
Words matter
If you start hurling insults, then there is a good chance, you will receive the same. The reasoning in all this would be lost, and all you will remember will be insults. Choose your words carefully that will get your point across with clarity. Keeping your volume low would also help as people listen to lower voices more carefully, and this will also keep your anger in check.
Avoid in Public
If you are in a public place, avoid the argument. It will create a mess in front of strangers, friends, or family. Other people may try to intervene and make matters worse. As more opinions add to the argument, it may make the situation complicated. If you have an issue, go away from the public eye and talk.
Talk about the actual point of pain
Many people tend to bring out the past, present, and future in a single argument, and it becomes difficult to handle. Stick to the point that caused the argument. For instance, if you are angry about your partner not doing the dishes, it is better not to talk about parenting style or money management in that argument.
Take a break
If you feel things are getting out of hand or you are hurling too many insults, take a break. Announce that you are taking a break, drink water, and splash your face with water. It will help you cool down. Even if the argument resumes after some time, both of you will be calmer.
Why arguments are essential for healthy relationships?
Despite being termed as bad, arguments are essential for any relationship. Expressing differences improves a relationship, and the couple’s fight makes them come closer. Again, too much is not good, and if you have unresolved issues, try Online Relationship Counseling.
Make relationships natural
Happily-ever-after can only be achieved if there are some fights. If the relationship never had any fights, it implies one or both partners are too accepting. Something natural will have rough edges, but something artificial will be too smooth. A couple’s fight will keep the relationship natural, and both partners will not have to pretend anything.
Make partners understand the differences
Two different people will have different opinions and some similarities. It is the way you handle the differences that will define the relationship. If you are comfortable with each other, you will tell your opinion to the partner. Acceptance of each other despite different opinions will be a boon for your relationship.
Make relationships interesting
Imagine you never fight, have no difference of opinion, agree with everything. It will make the relationship routine and predictable. While if there is a fight, both of you will try to resolve it. You will get romantic gifts, or plan surprises for resolving these fights. Won’t that add spice to your relationship?
Take the pressure off the relationship
If one or both partners are bottling up their feelings too much, it will add pressure to the relationship. Both of them have different opinions, and they are not talking about it. Ultimately, feelings will blast and may lead to a huge argument. Simmering pressure below the smiling faces will damage a relationship. Small arguments take the pressure off the relationship.
How to determine too many arguments?
All said and done, if your arguments turn into insult-hurling matches, do not resolve for days, result in any violent behavior, or you cannot agree on any matter, it is time to sit back and think about the state of your relationship. Even if you sulk for days, you may need expert guidance to navigate the slippery path of deteriorating relationships.
Conclusion
Arguments are part of a healthy relationship. Do not aspire to become a couple that never argues, but try to be one that fights, makes up, and lives happily together. If you think you have too many arguments or arguments that go on for days, contact the experts at The Love Manual. Online Relationship Counseling will resolve the underlying issues to make your relationship stronger.