I recently had a long phone call with one of my best friends who lives in another country. It has been years since we last met, and all our conversations are on calls or chats. I am lucky to find friends so close to me, and though we miss each other, we can still feel the bond as strong as ever. We learn to form friendships since childhood and do not get any formal training for it. It just happens when we find the right people. On the other hand, Adult friendships are a bit difficult to form. We have a lot of reservations, egos, need for personal space, and the baggage of past bad experiences that come in the way of finding adult friends.
Good adult friendships
Friendship is something above the definition. We bond with our friends seamlessly and can share personal stories with them. Good friends share secrets or are together doing something secretly. Fighting with them, especially when we are young is like a right, you have, and pining for them is obvious when we do not talk to each other. Good friends will support you but not let you choose the wrong paths. They will help you in your bad times and celebrate your victories. Those who found good friends are lucky. Friendships are the only bonds of love not bounded by legal or blood ties, which makes them so special.
Bad adult friendships
I do not believe in bad friendships, if it is bad then it is not friendship. It could be a bad acquaintance, bad influence, or any other social term. People get bad experiences from someone they think is their friend, but they are just someone in the vicinity. If you are tormented by such bad memories and cannot get rid of them, going for counseling would be a good step.
Forming adult friendships
Adulthood comes with its own set of changes, and it brings various scenarios where you have to choose between your brighter future and rooted present. Moving to new places is evident, and that means you will need to make new friends. You will have to meet new people, and form acquaintances, and some of those acquaintances can become friends with you. This process is tedious for some, as they do not know where to start.
Various groups, both online and offline, have similar interests. For example - A hiking group. They will go for hikes every weekend, and enthusiasts will join to enjoy with people of similar mindset. You can also go to such a group, and you will find people who you can relate to and form acquaintances. Once you start going out, you will get more chances to find the right people. Adult friends are hard to find, but some efforts in the right direction will work in your favor.
Differentiating between friends and acquaintances
It is essential to learn to differentiate between friends and other social connections. Many people who do not demarcate, get bad experiences in the form of rumors, bullying, etc. Forming friends in adulthood takes time, and there are various steps between casual acquaintance and strong friendship. You will not share personal thoughts or personal memories with them because you do not feel comfortable. In any case, you should not have to rush to share anything unless you are ready. The culmination would be natural once the time and people are right.
Final thoughts
We always need lasting friendships, whether in childhood or adulthood.
Going far from a friend is painful, but you can still stay in touch and keep your friendship going.
The friendships you formed and will form will add liveliness to your life.
Adult friends are fewer, but adult acquaintances are plenty.
Acquaintances play an important role in our connection to the social relationships.