If your day with your partner started with dialogues like," You don’t understand me”, or “You never listen to me”, things might not be so good once you go home. Either, deafening silence could be waiting for you, or you may encounter a full-blown storm of words. You are frantically thinking of ideas to dodge both icy silence and blistering words. You want your days to return to the usual routine of calm and orderliness. Couples arguments are common read on to learn about after-the-fight actions to reconcile.
Immediate Steps after a couple’s fight
Immediately after a fight with your partner, your first reaction could be to make some rash decisions or vent out so that your partner understands how you feel. All this could only lead to a bigger mayhem and will take more time to resolve your fight. Do the following things to improve your relationship after an argument with your partner.
Give space to each other
Give space to each other for some time which will give you time to process all that happened. An overwhelmed will react aggressively to the one who caused all the emotional upheaval (in this case, your partner). Some distance would stop the argument and give a breather to both of you.
Avoid decisions regarding the relationship
Many people do not realize how they hurt others while thinking they are just reacting to what their partner said and did. Give yourself and your partner time to heal from all the blame and hurtful words. You are overwhelmed, angry, and hurt, and you will not realize the consequences of any decision regarding your relationship in such a state of mind.
Keep yourself productively busy
Keeping yourself busy will take your mind off the argument and productive work will make sure to utilize all your pent-up energy. Your anger gives you a burst of energy so use it to do work that you have been procrastinating for long. Make sure to work with a plan, otherwise, this trick can go southwards, and you may get into another mess.
Short-term measures after a couple’s fight
Use these measures to take a break from fight not from each other. These measures are better applied with a mindset of trying to mend the relationship. Also, these suggestions hold good if the couple’s fight was about everyday trivial things rather than a big underlying issue.
Date night
Going on a date night without any elaborate attempts would save a potential argument over who would plan among other things. Most couples' arguments are over everyday matters “Who would do the dishes?” A date night will give a breather to both going forward in a positive direction to better the relationship.
Order-in
If both are too tired to get ready and go out, simply order in and enjoy the break from usual household work. While the frequency of ordering-in depends upon your lifestyle and eating habits, doing it once in a while will not hurt.
Anything but routine
If you are a busy couple with lots of fixed chores every day, doing something other than routine would be good for you and your relationship. I understand that routine keeps our lives on track but too much of everything is detrimental. Groove to the tune of your favorite music or read a book together. Anything to take your mind off the couple’s argument.
Also read: Is Arguing In A Relationship Healthy?
Long-term measures after a couple’s argument
After your time off or break, comes the hard part of working for long-term measures to sustain the relationship after the couple’s argument. These measures will take some time and some grit to execute and will benefit your long-term relationship.
Setting the ground rules
Whether you had a big fight about some fundamental issue or a small one, always set some ground rules. These rules will direct you to the next steps after the fight is over. Many times, couples don’t know how to go forward even if the arguing is over and this may weaken the relationships. Some people decide to talk things through till the matter is solved. Some people decide to not fight in front of the kids especially if the kids are young. Some people also decide that some topics are off-limits for any arguments, such as bringing up exes.
Expressing your emotions
Expressing your concerns to your partner is very important as it will lead to possible solutions to the problems. Not expressing yourself will make you bitter about your partner and your life in general. Also, problems are much bigger in imagination than in real. Expressing emotions will take off excess emotions and your talks will be much more leveled.
Take the help of professionals
If you and your partner cannot resolve issues on your own, take the help of professionals. They will help you in assessing and addressing your problems in the right manner. Marriage counseling will not only resolve your present issues but also make your relationship better.
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